Pretty much everyone I've talked to during the past 2 weeks has been a complete stranger. This means I get to (have to) explain myself over and over and over... eventually they always come to the same question:
"So, what brings you to Fort Collins?"
And then I create some combo of the following phrases:
- My roommates will be grad students at CSU
- The job market is way better (which has yet to be proven)
- I needed a new adventure
"Oh wow, that's really brave."
...brave? I mean, I'm no vampire slayer (any guesses what my latest Netflix binge has been?), but thanks for noticing.
Two weeks didn't sound like a long time when I found out that's how long I'd be out here alone, but it has been quite the experience. Sure, Tyler was here to help me move in, and then I spent my first weekend in Denver with Kursten, but it has been me, myself, and I since last Monday.
I've had several run-ins with my shoulder guys this week. For those of you living without a working knowedge of Emporer's New Groove references (and I use the term "living" loosely here), this means that those little voices inside my head have been at war in my brain.
"You need to get out there and experience life!"
"Stay inside and lock the doors!"
"Over 300 days of sunshine - go bask in it!"
"Netflix!"
"At least clean something"
"Netflix!"
After spending Sunday as a hermit crab, I decided to sign up for a guided nature hike on Monday morning, thinking it could be a way to meet people. When I woke up this morning, it occurred to me that 9:00am on a Monday is not when young professional adults go on hikes - they're at work, contributing to society. Oops. Despite my shoulder devil coaxing me to forget it and stay home, I grabbed my waterbottle and headed out.
Sure, I spent the morning hiking with the chattiest 70-year-old man I've ever encountered. Thankfully he couldn't keep up, so I only had to endure his ramblings when our guide decided to wait. Sure, the guide was a middle-aged woman, and not the strapping young nature man I'd envisioned, but she was good for conversation and her husband used to live in Rochester! For whatever reason, I have a lot of experience making small talk with old people - and they're always the least intimidating option.
After a quick stop at the library for a new book (which I will make myself read in the park) and an ice cream cone (because I'm an adult and I can have ice cream for lunch if I wanna and this is absolutely how my mother raised me), I returned home - triumphant in my comfort-zone-breaking-ness.
Am I on a solo backpacking trip through South America? No
Am I living in hostels and working odd jobs in Europe? No
Have I landed my dream job with fabulous benefits? No
But I'm out here and I'm living life the best I can... and maybe that's brave after all.
I’m standing in my kitchen eating store-brand fruit cocktail right out of the can, wondering what to do with my life. I told people I might start blogging again… I guess now is as good a time as any.
Today marks my official one-week Colorado-versary (even though technically I didn’t move into our place in Fort Collins until Wednesday), and this is the first day I’ve spent completely alone in… maybe forever. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever spent so many consecutive hours alone. I don’t know why anyone would choose to live this way – it kinda sucks. Thankfully this is a temporary state of crushing loneliness because Andrea and Rob will move in next week. Still, that’s over a week from now, which means I’ve only managed to make it through less than 10% of my sentence. Maybe it’ll get better. Maybe I’ll make friends with the little gray mouse I watched scamper across the kitchen floor yesterday.
I had an informational interview this afternoon with an agency in town. The lady was nice enough, and provided a sizeable list of local agencies to try… although my wavering confidence pretty much shattered when she asked: “What are you going to do if none of these work out?” WOW. Uhhhhhh…. I guess I’ll just start working the street corner near the 7-Eleven across from the empty lot next to my house. THANKS FOR ASKING.
After retrieving my car from the unfamiliar parking garage, I headed for the grocery store. After selecting a cart, I proceeded to work my way down aisle-by-aisle, hoping that eventually I wouldn’t feel like crying. That plan actually worked pretty well. Which means, if I’m lucky, I’ll only have cried during one grocery expedition this month!
I am now the proud owner of a King Soopers SOOPER CARD. It’s not Wegmans, but it’ll do. At least their store-brand fruit cocktail is decent. Because, ya know, that’s really how you judge quality.
Things out here really aren’t as bad as they seem right now. Despite the mouse visitor/resident, I’m starting to feel comfortable in my new surroundings. Most of the windows have curtains, which is good because for the past two days my house has been surrounded by landscapers. At least by the time I have roommates we might have a nice backyard to play in.
Well, my can is empty, so I guess I’ll wrap it up. If you’ve actually managed to read this entire post, know that I am doing just fine out West, and things will come together soon. Thank goodness for Netflix.
